Ryou's Zit
by Embersflame
Summary: Ryou gets a humongous zit, and Purin helps him to get rid of it. But does she help, or make matters worse? Read and find out!
1. The ZIT

**Ryou's zit**

**Yukari: Hello everyone! I got the idea for this fic when I was in the bathroom trying to pop a zit. My last fic was kind of crazy and random, so I decided to make a fic with a controlled humor. (Is there such a thing?)**

**Bob: It was a huge zit too.**

**Yukari: Was not! (Throws brick at Bob) Ha-ha!**

**Bob: Ggrrrrr! You baka! That hurt! (Sucks his thumb and cries)**

**Yukari: It was supposed to hurt you moron, anyway, read and review!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew, but unfortunately, I do own Bob and the zit on Ryou's face.**

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On a nice sunny day **(What a crappy way to start)** Ryou woke up, yawned, scratched his butt and slowly trudged to the bathroom. He went to the mirror and tiredly looked at his reflection, his eyes widened at what he saw.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Keiichero burst in, "Holy crap Ryou what's wrong? That scream was loud enough to wake the dead!"

"THIS!" Ryou shouted, pointing to his forehead, "OH MY G—"Keiichero screamed but didn't finish, as he fell unconscious to the floor.

"Come on man!" Ryou fumed, "It's not that bad! Is it?" Ryou dumped cold water on Keiichero's face.

"Thanks." Keiichero said weakly as he got off the floor, he looked at Ryou's face, "HOLY CRUD BUBBLES!" He screamed as fainted again.

This process went on for quite a while, but finally, Ryou gave up and left Keiichero unconscious on the floor. He sighed and rubbed the huge zit on his forehead before heading downstairs.

He sat down and banged his head on a table, causing a large bump to form on his head next to the zit. "Whatcha doin?"

"GGAAAHHH! Holy crap Purin don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry." Purin giggled, "WHOA! WHAT'S THAT THING ON YOUR HEAD?"

"It's a zit." Ryou said somberly.

"Eeewww! Can I poke at it?" Before Ryou gave her an answer, she got a ten foot pole, stood back, and jabbed at Ryou's head.

"YOU ANNOYING PIECE OF MONKEY CRAP! QUITE IT!" Purin saw Ryou was clearly annoyed so she stopped; Ryou resumed hitting his head on the table.

"Stupid(BANG)zit(BANG)don't(BANG)know(BANG)how(BANG)to(Bang)get rid of it!(BANG)

Purin looked thoughtful, something clicked in her head, "I'll help you!" She yelled exited, "I'm an expert on zits!"

"You are?" Ryou raised a brow, not believing her at all.

"Of course! I'll get rid of that zit in no time! Follow me!"

Ryou sighed he didn't have any other options, so he followed Purin into the kitchen.

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**Yukari: Sorry about that short chapter, it will get better, I promise! Anyway, next time Purin helps Ryou with his zit, but will her techniques really work? Of course not!**

**Bob: It won't get better, you always say that**

**Yukari: (Gags Bob and ties him to a chair) Shut up you baka! Please review!**

**Sayonara! **

_**Yukari** _


	2. Mmm, frosting

**Ryou's Zit**

**Yukari: Hello everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews! You don't actually like it do you! Crazy people…… Well you make me feel happy anyways.**

**Bob: That was so cheesy I wanted to puke.**

**Yukari: Whatever, anyways, in this chapter Purin tries to get rid of the zit.**

**Bob: I heard this fict contains things such as: a blender, chainsaw, lawn mOWFFTY!**

**Yukari: (Covers Bob's mouth) YOU IDIOT YOU'RE GONNA GIVE AWAY THE WHOLE STORY! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew, but I do own Bob, the zit, and some items used to torture, er…, help Ryou with his zit problem.**

_

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__Ryou sighed he didn't have any other options, so he followed Purin into the kitchen._

"So what are you going to do?" Ryou sighed.

"Well, ummm, let's see what we have to work with here." Purin started digging through piles of junk; Ryou rolled his eyes and leaned on the counter.

"Do you have any of that mask stuff?" "Huh?" "You know…that crap girls put on their faces with the cucumbers!" Purin yelled.

Ryou yelled back, "YOU BAKA! I'M A GUY, DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD HAVE THAT CRAP!"

Keiichero burst in (Again), "What's the yelling for! O GAWD!" Keiichero fell unconscious again. This time, Ryou didn't even try waking him.

"IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?" Ryou asked Purin, who nodded slowly. "ALRIGHT I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! JUST GET RID OF THIS THING!" Ryou yelled, pointing to his forehead.

He didn't notice the evil smirk Purin had on her face.

"Alright, since you don't have the mask crap, I'm going to use this frosting."

"WHAT!" Ryou yelled, Purin sighed, she held up a mirror to Ryou's face. Ryou looked at his reflection and the mirror shattered.

"……."

"Alright now that you agree with me…" Purin started dabbing frosting on Ryou's face. After she was done, she stood back to look at her masterpiece.

"Hhmmm, it needs some cucumbers." She said thoughtfully and dug through the fridge.

"It!" Ryou mumbled from under the coat of frosting.

Purin ignored him and took out a pickle jar, "Sorry, I couldn't find any cucumbers; we'll have to use these pickles." She whispered, Ryou barely heard what she said and just grunted.

"Ok!" She said excitably and applied the pickles over his eyes while licking frosting off her fingers.

"What the—"Ryou opened his eyes, "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHH! IT BURNS! WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS!"

"You big baby, it's just a little pickle juice." Purin crossed her arms.

Mint ran in, "Why the heck are you screaming?" She yelled, she took one look at Ryou; his eyes were red and blotchy. And the frosting made him look like he had rabies.

"Oh my goodness!" Mint fainted and landed on Keiichero, who let out a moan.

"THAT'S IT!" Ryou scooped the frosting off his face and threw it at Purin; he went out into the café where people were eating.

People took one look at his face and started fainting, Ryou looked around, people were fainting left and right.

Ryou burst into the kitchen, Purin was on the counter, filing her nails. "I knew you'd come running back." She grinned, "Now for part B of operation 'get rid of Ryou's zit."

Ryou sweat dropped, "What an ingenious name." He mumbled.

"I know isn't it!" She jumped up and down excitably, obviously not catching the sarcasm in Ryou's voice.

**

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****Yukari: Man they all yelled a ton, next time, the blender! Mhuahahahahaha! And maybe the chainsaw too….**

**Bob: You're evil.**

**Yukari: I know! Ain't it wonderful!**

**Bob: No, you seem to have an obsession with killing people.**

**Yukari: It's not an obsession, it's a hobby**

**Bob: Whatever…**

**Yukari: Bye bye everyone!**

**Ja Ne!**

_**Yukari**_


	3. Pulverize

**Ryou's zit**

**Yukari: Alright! This chapter might get a little crazy. **

**Bob: Oh no! Not the bricks! **

**Yukari: (sigh) No you Baka! That's not even in this fict! Oh, and I have to say, thanks for the face cream crap; it did wonders to my skin! (Puts on face crap)**

**Bob: (Pouts) I want some! (Grabs crap and puts on face)**

**Yukari: Oh, and the reason for the personality switch is because it's morning! And I'm tired, and cranky, what I go through for you people….**

**Bob: And I just drank ten cups of coffee! (Bounces off walls)**

**DISCLAIMER: Me no own Tokyo Mew Mew, If I did, I'd be sleeping instead of writing this fict.**

* * *

"_I know isn't it!" She jumped up and down excitably, obviously not catching the sarcasm in Ryou's voice._

Ryou sighed, "Alright! Next we have the blender!" Purin said happily.

"Huh?" Ryou looked confused, "Don't worry! I saw this on TV! It's perfectly safe, I think." Purin mumbled the last part so Ryou wouldn't hear.

"Alright, stick your face here! Na no da!" She instructed, "Wait why is there fruit in there?"

"Cause I decided to make a smoothie while I'm at it!" She smirked; before Ryou could back away she grabbed his face and popped it over the blender.

She looked thoughtfully at the controls, "Hhmmm, that's an awfully big zit so I'll set it on high and…….Chop, pulverize, beat or grind? Pulverize of course!"

Ryou moaned from inside the blender, Purin pressed the buttons, she watched Ryou scream in pain. "This is fun! Na no da! It almost looks like you're in pain!" She laughed.

Ryou pulled the blender off his face, "I'll show you pain!" He yelled angrily and chased Purin around with a giant mallet; he smacked her on the head once before she got away.

"Tsk Tsk, someone need anger management." She scolded; suddenly Tart appeared in the room. "Tar-Tar!" Purin yelled and hugged him, he looked like he would pop any second.

"OH MY GOSH RYOU! THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR HEAD!" Tart screamed.

"I know!" Purin said cheerfully, "Will you help me get rid of it?" She had chibi eyes. Tart nodded, his eyes still on Ryou's zit.

"Great! Now here's the plan." Purin and Tart huddled together and started whispering, Ryou backed away slowly.

"Nuh uh, where do you think you're going?" Ryou gulped, Purin and Tart both had evil looks on their faces. He couldn't take it, he ran out of the kitchen.

Tart teleported and whacked him on the head with a mallet, all the customers cheered. Tart ignored them and dragged the unconscious Ryou into the kitchen.

He threw him on the table where Purin was waiting, "All right! Time for plan D in operation 'get rid of Ryou's zit'."

"What a great name." Tart mumbled.

"I know isn't it!" Purin yelled obviously not catching the sarcasm in Tart's voice.

"Ok, serious faces." She commanded as she put on a doctor's mask.

"Chainsaw." "Chainsaw." Tart handed her the chainsaw, which she turned on…

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****Bob: OH MY GOSH SHE'S GONNA DECAPITATE HIM! **

**Yukari: No she's not, sorry all you Ryou fans, I have nothing against Ryou seriously. If someone was to die in this fic it would be Masaya or the evil dubs. So you can put down the pitchforks.**

**Bob: They're coming to keel me!**

**Yukari: I hope so, cause if they don't I will. I hope you all liked it, please review!**

**Ja ne!**

_**Yukari**_


	4. Chainsaw, EBay, and lawn mower

**Ryou's Zit**

**Yukari: Thank you so much for the reviews! Since my chapters are short, I'm gonna try to update sooner, its unbelievable how chaotic things can get here. I'm just so busy.**

**Bob: Yeah right, she had tons of times when she could update.**

**Yukari: Yeah, but I'm too lazy.**

**Bob: Tell us something we don't know.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, if I did, I'd be sitting on my lazy butt doing something else.**

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"_Chainsaw." "Chainsaw." Tart handed her the chainsaw, which she turned on…_

"Now I'm gonna give Ryou a much needed haircut." Purin smirked.

"Then why don't you use scissors?" Tart asked confused, "Cause with all that hair gel, I imagine his hair is rock hard."

Tart nodded, understanding now. Purin grabbed the chainsaw and started hacking off his hair, Tart watched as blond locks fell to the ground.

After a few minutes, Tart and Purin stood back to study her work, both of their faces blanched. "Oopsies!" Purin yelled, "I didn't mean to cut off that much! Oh well." She shrugged.

Tart snapped his fingers, "I have an idea! Why don't we sell the hair we cut off to rabid fan girls!"

"That's a great idea Tar-Tar!" Purin gushed. Three minutes later Purin and Tart were auctioning the hair off on EBay.

"Wow! Five hundred bids already!" Purin clapped her hands, "We're gonna be rich!" Tart gasped, Purin and Tart grabbed hands and jumped excitedly around for a minute.

"Alright," Purin said turning serious again, "Back to operation 'get rid of Ryou's zit'©!" Tart stared at the copyright sign a while before answering, "Ok!"

"Lawn mower." Purin commanded, "Lawn mower." Tart, with some difficulty, handed Purin the lawn mover. Purin started up the lawn mower and ran it over Ryou's face while humming.

Tart's face was one of total shock, "I sure hope I don't get a zit," he mumbled, "These people have the weirdest ways to get rid of them."

Purin finished and sighed happily, "I'm such a good friend, Ryou will be so happy!" Ryou chose that moment to wake up.

"Ugh, I feel like I was run over by a lawn mower." He groaned.

"Really? Cause you look like it too!" Purin handed him a mirror.

Ryou's face grew pale, not only did he have a large zit and bump on his forehead. He looked like he had rabies, his eyes were red and bloodshot, his face was red and raw, and HE WAS BALD!

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ryou looked in the mirror again to make sure he wasn't dreaming, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He took a deep breath, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH."

By now all the world was alerted to the sound of Ryou's scream, from the rabid fan girls (Who were still bidding on EBay.) to the pink penguins that were pulling Santa's sleigh in the Sahara desert.

This time Zakuro burst in, "WHAT THE HE—" She never finished, as she tripped over Mint and Keiichero and smacked her head on the floor, rendering her unconscious.

Lucky thing, she didn't even get to look at Ryou's face, if she did, she would probably be dead from shock.

Ryou himself looked as if he was about to pass out, but then his face turned from pale white, to a deep red color.

"Uhhh, Tar-Tar," Purin said nervously, noticing the steam coming from Ryou's ears. "Maybe we should leave…"

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****Yukari: (Sobs) I'm so mean! Before you people chew off my head, let me tell you, I WILL FIX RYOU! I promise, I could never leave him like that! Imagine, Ryou, BALD!**

**Bob: Whoa that was harsh, poor Ryou.**

**Yukari: All you people who read this are permitted to:**

**_A- Hang me_**

**_B- Throw me off a cliff_**

**_C- Let rabid fan girls attack me_**

**_D- Sic the pink penguins on me _**

**_E- All of the above_**

**Bob: Chose E! CHOSE E!**

**Yukari: Shuddup! Anyway, next time, Ryou get's fixed!**

**Bob: Eeewww! At the vet? **

Yukari: Wha? No you baka!


	5. Tokyo Pervert Beauty Supplies©

**Ryou's zit**

**Bob: Ahem, it appears you have all killed Yukari, since most of you chose E. So I'll be in charge of this fic, instead of humor, it's going to be a nice, decent fluffy love story.**

**Yukari: Comes in with casts and bunches of bruises: Wha! I don't think so!  
**

**Bob: Gah! I thought you were dead!**

**Yukari: So did I, but here I am! Since I'm too weak to kill you…. ATTACK! MY PINK PENGUINS! Ya, all you people hurted me! Thanks a lot, my life is over now, I'll never get over that traumatizing experience. : Two seconds later: Ok! I'm over it! **

**Bob: twitches: So..much….pink…**

**DISCLAIMER: Let me spell it out for ya, Me…no….own…Tokyo….Mew….Mew.**

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"_Uhhh, Tar-Tar," Purin said nervously, noticing the steam coming from Ryou's ears. "Maybe we should leave…"_

Tart looked nervous, "Yeah I agree."

Tart and Purin turned to run, but Ryou grabbed them. "YOU LITTLE PIECES OF TOAD CRAP! I'LL KEEL YOU!"

Purin's eyes widened and Tart teleported back to his ship. (He'll be back next chapter)

"Uhhh, wait Ryou! I can fix you!" She cried desperately, "Nuh uh! Not after what you did!" Ryou raised his fist to punch her.

Purin held up a mirror, Ryou caught sight of himself in it and the mirror crumbled. "Gaah! Fine! But this time, I'll be watching you.." Ryou gave Purin a death glare.

"Okies!" She said cheerfully, as if nothing happened, "Firstest you got to take a shower." Ryou took a shower while Purin checked on the bids, "Wow, 168,789,879,234 bids!" She exclaimed, "I is so happy!"

"Why is you so happy?" Ryou asked, he had just come out of the shower, and had a towel draped around his neck.

Purin sweat dropped, "Ehh, nothing Ryou-Kun! Na no da!" Ryou growled, "Don't call me that."

"Let's see," Purin searched through a few drawers, "Well, the frosting's gone, and your face looks better, well, not the zit. Ah! Here it is!" She held out a bottle of hair-tonic.

"This will make your hair grow back in no time, okies?" Ryou nodded, relieved, Keiichero had gotten that when he had a couple bald spots. Ryou had sworn not to tell of course, Ryou smirked, he had a lot of black-mail on Keiichero.

While Ryou was musing, Purin looked at the back of the bottle:

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Ingredients: _Hare hair, sugar, water, yellow 5, Sodium hydroxide, brown 45, artificial peas, spinach, strawberry extracts, alcohol, bunny extract._

_This product was not tested on animals, just perverts._

Directions:_ Pour three drops on balded head, wait two minutes for growth._

_WARNING: If any oozing, dripping, sneezing, or burning occurs, run around in circles and scream, you'll probably die. Not intended for any other uses besides hair growth. DO NO POUR WHOLE BOTTLE ON HEAD! If this occurs, refer to our other expensive products from Tokyo Pervert Beauty Supplies_©

_Tokyo Pervert Beauty Supplies_©

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"Hhmmm," Purin scratched her head, "I better pour the whole bottle cause Ryou is extremely bald!" She called Ryou over and poured the bottle on his head, not heading the warning at all…**

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****Yukari: Yayness! Ryou's gonna get his hair back!**

**Bob: Oh whoopee.**

**Yukari: Glares: ATTACK, PINK PENGUINS!  
**

**Bob: Gah! NNOOOO! **

Yukari: He he, alright, next time, TOTAL CHAOS! Mhuahahahahaha!

**Pink penguins: Mhuahahahahaha!**

**Ja ne!  
**

_**Yukari**_


	6. Hairy mess, killjoys, and policedudes

**Ryou's Zit**

**Yukari: To all you people: Cough: You'll never know…: Cough: Ryou is getting fixed; I Never said there wouldn't be any problems with it though.**

**Bob: You evil.**

**Yukari: Yes I is.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, but I do own _Tokyo Pervert Beauty Supplies_©**

* * *

"_Hhmmm," Purin scratched her head, "I better pour the whole bottle cause Ryou is extremely bald!" She called Ryou over and poured the bottle on his head, not heading the warning at all…_

Purin saw some hair poking out of Ryou's head, "Wow! It's growin fast!" Tart appeared in the room, "Whoa! Why does Ryou's head look like a bush?"

Purin looked at Ryou, shocked, "Whoops! I musta put to much na no da! Quick! Tart, get the lawn mower!"

Ryou's hair was spilling onto the floor; it had grown at least ten feet. Ryou, just sat there with a stress mark on his head, he didn't yell, because he was thankful he had hair now, unfortunately a little too much.

Purin grabbed the chainsaw and started hacking at the hair, Tart, had been swallowed by the tangled mess some time ago. If you looked closely, you could see his twitching hand stinking out.

"Whew!" Purin wiped sweat off her forehead, "This stuffs growin faster than, eh, um, a pie with too much yeast!" "That was stupid." Tart mumbled from underneath his hairy grave.

"I'll save you Tar-Tar!" Purin hacked through the hair, which was now filling the room. Purin grabbed Tart's hand and yanked him out.

"Forget about Ryou!" Tart yelled, "Let's get outta here!" Purin nodded her agreement.

"Wait!" She yelled, a light bulb clicked on in her head. "Let's use weed killer!"

Tart nodded, "Ok!" They both grabbed a couple of spray bottles and held them like guns, "Let's do this."

What happened next was a blur to Tart, some hair attacked his head and he ducked, sprayed some weed killer, and watched the hair shrivel up.

Purin, on the other hand, had a machine gun filled with weed killer. Tart watched in amazement as she bravely stepped out onto the battlefield and started shooting at the hair.

Ryou, who was buried in his own hair, fell asleep. Tart started digging and found him, the hair had stopped growing.

Lettuce burst in, she saw the wriggling hair, Purin with a machine gun, and Ryou with extremely long hair. Poor thing, she shrieked and fainted.

Purin put down the machine gun and looked at her surroundings proudly, "That was fun, na no da! Let's do it again!" She grabbed another hair tonic bottle.

"NO!" Tart and Ryou yelled in unison, "Aahh, killjoys." Purin grumbled.

Ryou felt his head, relieved, all his hair had grown back and was its normal length. But he still had the zit, "HEY! Look!" Purin poked at all the passed out people.

"Wow Ryou, you have quite the fan club." Tart joked; Ryou rolled his eyes, suddenly, a buncha policemen blew a hole in the wall and burst in.

"Freeze! You're under arrest for uhh, I forgot, why'd we come here Joe?" Joe shrugged, "I just remember some guy called us three hours ago and said HOLY MOLY!"

"Really? He said that?" Joe passed out, "WHOA!" The policeman yelled, "That's one huge zit son."

Ryou looked at him surprised, he didn't pass out, the policeman patted his shoulder sympathetically. "I feel sorry for ya man, come on boys let's leave!"

The dude looked around, all his men were unconscious on the floor, "I'll call a dump truck to pick them up later, oh, sorry about the hole in the wall."

Ryou, Tart, and Purin sweat dropped, "Alright, back to business…" Purin trailed off.

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****Yukari: Whoo! Ryou's hot again! Too bad he has a mongo zit, and thank you for the reviews! I'm actually on some people's favorites list! I is so happy! **

**Bob: You is so weird, GAH! I mean you're so weird! Your bad grammar is rubbing off on me….**

**Yukari: You should feel happy, only dorks talk correctly.**

**Ja ne!**

_**Yukari**_


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